yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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