You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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