After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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