don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
