yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
