we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
