Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
