Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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