After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
