My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Who died my cat blue again?
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