You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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