I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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