i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
