Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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