Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
