Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
