how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
