Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
