garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
