We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
