I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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