Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
