Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
