He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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