you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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