it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
