honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
