Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
