So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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