exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
