Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
