Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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