No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
