so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
