A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
