she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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