went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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