We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
