People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
