After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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