mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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