you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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