somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
