did you get engaged???
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
...so i touched it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
