Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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