rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
