I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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