That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
