What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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