I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
