I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
